Understanding the core principles of boundary setting is of paramount importance for anyone in new or established relationships. The purpose of boundaries is ultimately to keep us safe and to ensure that our relationships are healthy. They are the limits we define to protect ourselves from being used, manipulated, or violated by others. Applying them purposefully and intentionally in daily life is the key to creating happy and long lasting relationships.
This e-book is for the women looking to draw their lines in the sand firmly and unapologetically – who are tired of being walked on, taken advantage of, and disrespected – who are finally ready to put their foot down and teach others exactly what they will and will not tolerate.
I see you. I know you want to be free from the shackles of selfish, overbearing, and manipulative personalities. I know you want to be valued and respected by the men you date, and I know you want to be kind and generous with your partner but also have them know you are NOT to be trifled with. You deserve that.
What happens when you don’t set appropriate boundaries? You are likely to be at the constant mercy of others. You allow others to govern you how to think, act, and feel. It also means you tend to spend your time and energy doing what others want you to do over what you truly want to do. You make yourself vulnerable to being the victim of various situations and you burden yourself with guilt and anxiety, which will do nothing but drain the life out of you.
I’ve allowed ex-boyfriends to heavily influence how I think, act, and feel. I’ve said yes when I wanted to to say no, and it was exhausting. And I see the same shit happening with too many other women. If I’ve been able to learn the way through it, then I know you’ve got this.
Before you can enforce your personal limitations in a relationship like the respectable and quality woman you are, you first need to lay the necessary framework in your mind. Cultivating the right mindset around why boundaries are essential is what sets the foundation for being able to execute on them efficiently. These 9 laws are the core principles you need to know to draw the line effectively and unapologetically. Once you internalize and apply these fundamentals, you’ll be unassailable.
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Until next time,
Ash Pariseau
Influence is a function of effectiveness and access. The more access, the more influence.
How do you control access? Boundaries! Walls, fences, borders; they’re all means to control access.
The most important thing you possess is your self-respect. You let someone get that and you’re pretty much screwed. That’s why boundaries are so important. You need to know how to set them and you need to know how to defend them. Some people will challenge them out of ignorance, some out of malice. Some people will attack them like the raptors in Jurassic Park. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwAOHVBKTwg And, yeah, they will exhaust you.
Boundaries have context. Emotional, financial, physical, etc. You need the right boundary to protect against the right threat. The wrong boundary can be like a chain link fence trying to hold back water.
And, most people have at least one blind spot that they’re vulnerable to.