Our mothers often impart wisdom and guidance that stays with us long after we’ve left the nest. When it comes to relationships, the advice our mothers give us can be particularly valuable. From navigating the complexities of love and intimacy to setting boundaries and prioritizing our own needs, our moms have a wealth of knowledge to share.
In honor of Mother’s Day this year, I’ve decided to share with you all five relationship lessons that my mom taught me, lessons that have stood the test of time and continue to shape my own approach to love and partnership, even though she’s no longer here on Earth. Whether you’re navigating a new relationship or looking to strengthen an existing one, these lessons are sure to provide valuable insight and guidance along the way.
Be independent
One of the most valuable relationship lessons my mom taught me is the importance of maintaining independence in a relationship. While it’s easy to get swept up in the passion and excitement of a new relationship, it’s essential to maintain a sense of self and personal autonomy. This means having your own interests, hobbies, and friends outside of the relationship. It’s also important to communicate your boundaries and needs clearly with your partner and to respect theirs in turn. Being in a healthy, happy relationship doesn’t mean sacrificing your individuality or giving up your own goals and dreams. Instead, it means finding a partner who supports and encourages you to be the best version of yourself.
Don’t settle for less
Another relationship lesson that my mom guided in me is the importance of not settling for less than what you deserve. It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that any relationship is better than being alone, but settling for someone who doesn’t truly make you happy or doesn’t treat you with respect can lead to a lot of heartache in the long run. My mom always emphasized the importance of valuing yourself and your own worth, and not allowing anyone to make you feel less than you are. This means having the courage to walk away from a relationship that isn’t fulfilling, even if it’s scary to be alone for a while. Ultimately, settling for less will only lead to a lifetime of regret and missed opportunities, whereas holding out for the right person will bring you true happiness and fulfillment.
Trust your instincts
Trusting your instincts is another important relationship lesson that my mom taught me. Our instincts are our inner voice that helps us make decisions and navigate through life. When it comes to relationships, it’s essential to trust your gut and listen to those feelings of unease or doubt if they arise. Our intuition is often more accurate than we realize, and if something doesn’t feel right in a relationship, it’s important to explore that feeling and communicate it with our partner. My mom always told me to trust my instincts, and it’s something that has served me well in my own relationships. If you find yourself questioning a partner’s behavior or intentions, it’s important to address it and have an open and honest conversation. By trusting your instincts, you can avoid getting involved in relationships that are ultimately not right for you.
Love yourself first
My mom always emphasized the importance of loving yourself first when you’re in a relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in trying to please your partner and putting their needs above your own, but this can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout in the long run. When you love yourself first, you’re able to set healthy boundaries, communicate your needs clearly, and prioritize your own well-being. This means taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally, and making time for the things that make you happy outside of the relationship. By loving yourself first, you also set an example for your partner to do the same, creating a strong and healthy foundation for your relationship. Ultimately, a relationship should enhance your life, but it’s important to remember that you are whole and complete on your own.
Learn from your mistakes
Okay, her actual advice I remember most was that I learn from her mistakes, but you get the idea. While it’s important to make our own mistakes and learn from them, it’s also valuable to listen to the advice of those who have gone before us. By learning from my mom’s mistakes, I’ve been able to avoid some of the pitfalls that she experienced in her own relationships. Whether it’s setting boundaries, communicating more effectively, or prioritizing my own needs, I’ve been able to take her advice and apply it to my own relationships. Of course, everyone’s experiences are different, but there’s a lot of wisdom to be gained from the experiences of those who have been there before us. By being open to learning from others, we can become better partners and create stronger, healthier relationships in the long run.
These lessons may seem simple, but they are often the foundation of successful partnerships that stand the test of time. As we navigate the ups and downs of love and relationships, it’s important to remember these lessons and apply them in our own lives. By doing so, we can create relationships that bring us joy, fulfillment, and a sense of belonging.
Until next time,
Ash Pariseau
One advice that my Grandma used to tell my aunts (and it worked for the ones who followed it) was “If you’re drawn to a guy who’s attractive, don’t listen to what other girls think. Look at how he’s regarded by other men. If other guys trust him, like him, and think he’s reliable—he’s probably a good bet for a husband.”
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