A Good Man is Not That Hard to Find

I decided to poll my audience.

Ladies, when was the moment you realized that he really did love you?

Turns out, there are many ways a man tells a woman “I love you.” Here are some of my favorite responses:

“When he put my feelings first.”

“It was a gradual realization but I would say the point when it became obvious to me was when my roommate was gone and I was complaining about being alone and he drove out to make me feel better, about 45 minutes round trip, he had to be at work in the morning (I was still in college at the time).”

“When he stuck around. I usually keep guys at a friend’s level, and I knew he liked me, but he didn’t push and unlike the other guys who’d move on, he stuck around.”

“He was always there, and he didn’t leave.”

“When he traveled 61km riding a motorcycle just to see me and went back home the next day.
When he waited hours for me outside my school and walked home with me EVERY SINGLE DAY.
When he only got a dollar in his pocket and spent it to buy me food because I didn’t ate any.
I never asked for any of that from him. He did it willingly. Then I realized he truly loves me. No other man can do it for me if they don’t love me as much.”


“It was last May and not to long before the day we graduated high school when me and Alex my now boyfriend but he was best friend and my crush at the time were touring the college we both attend now with a few other students and after the tour guide finished showing us the outside of the campus we all went to this room and listened to people talk about the school for about an hour but soon I started getting cold because the room had the air conditioning on because it was really hot that day and Alex asked me how I was doing and I said I was fine just a little cold and after I said that he took off his jacket and gave it to me and that’s when I realized I wasn’t just crushing on him I was in love with him.”

“He stayed through my depression when I couldn’t even recognize myself.”

“He told me that just being in my presence made him feel at home.”

“The fact he respected my boundaries, didn’t pressure me into anything, and asked me if I was comfortable before he touched me. (That was when I knew that he really cared about me.)

“The look he gives me when I touch his face or simply laughing. That is a look of someone that is in love.

Here’s when I knew Mr. DTK loved me:

When he started using the word “we” often and referred to future plans as if it was a given. Also, the first time I had to take a trip out of the state for a week, I came back and he was so incredibly excited to see me that he had the house all cleaned and dinner made, and I could just feel the energy that he he missed the shit out of me. There’s nothing like that “I’m so glad your home” energy.

If you would like more help with a dating and relationship issue, I am now accepting new clients for 1:1 consulting. For more info, check out the consulting tab up in the main menu bar and from there, you can fill out the application to get started working with me privately.

Until next time,

Ash Pariseau


  1. Asking yourself “when did I know he first loved me?” is an example of how not to do it.

    I have been married for 16 years, and we have four kids. We met when I was in graduate school, and I was broke. We have been through years in the army, fights, mortgages, weight loss and gain, health issues/scares, laughing/inside jokes, in-law issues, etc.
    My wife leaves little packages of single-serving crackers by her side of the bed. She leaves shoes wherever she happens to be standing when she takes them off. Half-empty coffee mugs everywhere. And she snores. Every one of those things could make me mad if I chose to. But instead, whenever I find the bathroom trash can full of smelly panty liners, I smile because it reminds that I have a partner for life. I think about all those single people out there longing for someone to pick up after and I smile. She says that she feels the same way about razor clippings in the sink and my sweaty work out clothes.

    One day, if God forbid she leaves this world before I do, I will miss (terribly) the plastic wrappers, the shoes and the snoring. That’s how you do love. You don’t wait for the other person to prove their love for you.

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