In essence, a high quality man is one that other men want to be like and women want to be with. There are many things that men of quality will do that is part of what makes them admirable. Similarly, there are also many things they won’t be doing.
He won’t put other men down. A good quality man will build other men up, not tear them down. He won’t be calling anyone a white knight, pussy, cuck, beta, etc. He doesn’t feel the need to insult others to make himself look better.
He doesn’t disrespect women. A high value man treats women with respect and honor. He would never think of women as inferior to men and always treats them accordingly.
He doesn’t have a victim mentality. A man of quality doesn’t act like the world is against him. He takes responsibility for his life and happiness, maintains a positive outlook, and doesn’t make excuses. He understands that life can be difficult for everyone and he is committed to working hard to overcome his struggles.
He doesn’t act like a fool on social media. Quality men don’t take part in public online drama. If there’s a problem, he’ll deal with it privately. He doesn’t use social media to troll or bash others and he won’t go online to pretend to be something he’s not.
He has no time for hating. High value men focus on what they love, not what they hate. They understand that their time and energy is wasted when they spend it carrying on about what they don’t like.
He doesn’t try to be dominant. A quality guy isn’t going to be preoccupied with being the pants wearer or the one in charge of his relationship with a woman. He is content with balance and not concerned with having the upper hand.
He doesn’t let differences ruin his relationships. Men of merit don’t let a difference in political, religious, or social views get in the way of having good relationships with the ones they care about. They can listen to an opinion without acting out in anger.
They aren’t consumed with their masculinity. Top quality men are secure in their manhood and don’t have to obsess over their masculinity or being an “alpha male.”
They don’t freak out over the word “no.” High quality men can deal with hearing the word “no” from time to time. Whether it be from his family, friends, or a woman, he takes it in stride and moves on with his business.
He doesn’t feel entitled. Good men don’t feel entitled to anything including success or women. They know they have to put in the time and effort into earning what they want, which makes them appreciate these things more. They know that sometimes they might not get everything they want, and they can deal with it.
Quality men don’t complain that there are no decent women anymore.They understand that there are actually a lot of good women out there, and because they are high value men, they don’t find it difficult to attract high value women.
Good quality men don’t encourage or live by double standards, especially between men and women. He doesn’t hold anyone up to standards that he wouldn’t also hold for himself.
He won’t be arrogant. A man that is confident is sure of himself and his abilities and a man that is arrogant thinks of himself and his abilities as superior. A quality man is confident, never cocky or arrogant.
Great list. I couldn’t deal with anyone who does these things.
They are red flags for sure.
Well done. 🙂
Where was this list back in 1990! It’s a great list but I think the challenge for many men is that we can see a list like this and agree with it in the abstract, but actually executing it day -to-day is hard because many of us — especially in our younger years when we are bundles of raw nerves and hormones — , don’t recognize these same situations when they occur in the actual.
Good point, Mysteries. Admittedly, it takes a good deal of self awareness to recognize when day to day behavior become questionable.
Ashley I expected more from you than this list. You are more perceptive than most women. However this list could be easily have been compiled by a ‘writer’ at thoughtcatalog. Men like this only exist in women’s imagination.
I️ have a man like this.
Oh well I stand corrected Ashley. 🙂
Wow, son. I am very impressed with your blog.
I am a 30 year old man who came from nothing and a broken home then became a billionaire.
It took me years to overcome all the shit and social conditioning and become the real man that the world needs and women seek.
I am an intj as well but I don’t like to categorize myself since it doesn’t mean shit.
What is the man the world needs and women seek like?
What I mean is the kind of guy I used to be is the same as most men these days. Dickless boys castrated by society. A beta generation that doesn’t know how to be a man because they were told not to be men.
Your points in this article sum up perfectly what kind of man the world needs and what type of a dude women seek. I’ve always strived to become exactly this.
You know, power initiative action direction responsibility strength focus commitment accountability etc that kind of stuff
Interesting. I️ know a lot of guys who excuse men for doing things I️ describe that a good man won’t do. At the end of the day, as a woman I️ don’t want to define what it means to be a real man. I️ think each man can do that on his own.
Your comment about a beta generation, dickless, castrated boys, and use of “real man: kinda falls under the very first point Ash makes.
I kinda didn’t put anybody down. I simply face what needs to be faced so it then can be changed.
The first step of getting out of prison is to realize that you are in prison.
I am aware that I used harsh words. That had nothing to do with judging others. It’s just owning everything I am so I can transform it as I please.
On a side note look around in the world. The majority of humans regardless of gender. What I said is true. People settle for way less than what they are.
Yr comment is intersting… If you dont mind I ask.. about these two phrases: “who came from nothing and a broken home …” and “It took me years to overcome all the shit and social conditioning”. How did you do it? I have a similar history, havent become rich yet, but I know I will in a couple of years. But sometimes, my family it kinds hold me back, even though I know I am miles away from them in many ways. Was it therapy? Meditation?… how did you overcome the social conditioning? Thanks.
The problem is that a whole generation of boys were raised to be “good quality men” in the way you describe, but were slaughtered in modern dating conditions. They got the scraps and then they got exploited as beta providers. They weren’t ever genuinely attractive to the average woman. That’s why nobody now wants to be that kind of man. Men are changing exactly because of this. Some are opting out, but the ones who still want to give things a go with women are no longer looking for “companionate relatationships between equals” as this doesn’t satisfy women in practice, but are returning to an older style polarity in which the man is clearly alpha and is happily regarded as being so by his wife/girlfriend.
Hi Mark, and thank you for your comment.
In my experience, good men really aren’t that hard to find. Filtering for potential is a must though, and I think this is where a lot of women run into problems.
Yes Mark R. Quality men are not being shown the love these days. It is much more rewarding to be an asshole douchebag. Not my style preference. But I do what works.
So you act like an asshole douchebag just to get with women?
My dating career is over now. Back then I had more of a smooth player vibe than DB asshole vibe. DB asshole game is more effective, but I didn’t have it in me.
Great post, as a man I agree with everything you said.
I like what you said about a good man wont put another man down. You see the more “awake” a man is the less he will put another man down. Some men think its alpha to put other men or people in general, down. Which is actually the opposite of “alpha.” It is only a sign of insecurity and weakness.
Thank you for your comment, Jack. It’s nice to see when someone truly understands.
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I have just watched some videos from this YT channel called ‘whatever’. The show’s host, Brian, and especially the male guests he invites in the show, are exactly the type of fake alpha wannabes. He seems to be obssessed about women’s sex lives and keeps inviting sex workers and OnlyFans girls into his show to slut shame them. I am a religious conservative woman, but it really struck me as strange and disturbing and honestly off putting that he is putting so much effort in putting women down while literally earning views and money off of them and shaming these women when he himself had been posting videos of sexually suggestive pranks and scantily clad women.
Hi Blanche, yes I’m fairly familiar with that podcast. What I find interesting is how he uses mostly naked women in the thumbnails of all his videos, because he knows that’s what sells. Of course it’s ok for him to use sexuality to sell clicks and views, but then he turns around and puts down women for being on Only Fans. The hypocrisy is clownish.
One of the strangest things about the whole Manosphere PUA types is that they engage in this kind of ‘slut-shaming’ while at the same time encourage men to be promiscuous. They tell us that being an ‘Alpha’ means have as much casual sex as possible, but complain that women aren’t sufficiently loyal to them. I think that what many of them really want (but won’t admit) is a society with polygamy and harems. Which is probably why so many seem sympathetic to Islam.