As humans, we all crave connection and companionship. We seek out relationships with others in hopes of finding a deep and meaningful connection with someone else. However, not all relationships are created equal, and sometimes we find ourselves in relationships that are not healthy for us. This is where knowing your deal breakers becomes essential.
So, what are deal breakers? Also known as non-negotiables, deal breakers are the things that you absolutely cannot tolerate in a relationship. They are the red flags that, if ignored, can lead to long-term unhappiness and resentment. Knowing your deal breakers can help you avoid getting into a relationship that is ultimately not a good fit for you.
One of the most important reasons to know your deal breakers is that it helps you set boundaries. When you know what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship, you can communicate those boundaries clearly to your partner. This is essential for healthy relationships, as it helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures that both partners are on the same page.
For example, let’s say one of your deal breakers is infidelity. If you are in a relationship with someone who has cheated on you in the past, you can communicate to them that this behavior is not acceptable to you and that it’s a deal breaker. If they are unwilling to respect your boundary, then you know that this relationship is not a good fit for you and you can move on.
Knowing your deal breakers also helps you avoid settling for someone who is not right for you. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship and ignore red flags. However, if you have a clear list of deal breakers, you can refer back to it when evaluating a potential partner. This can help you avoid getting into a relationship with someone who may not be a good match for you in the long run.
It’s important to note that everyone’s deal breakers are different, and that’s okay. What may be a deal breaker for one person may not be for another. It’s up to you to determine what your deal breakers are based on your own values, needs, and boundaries.
Some common deal breakers include:
- Infidelity
- Physical or emotional abuse
- Addiction
- Dishonesty
- Lack of ambition or motivation
- Incompatible values or beliefs
- Incompatibility in terms of lifestyle or future goals
Once you have identified your deal breakers, it’s important to communicate them clearly to your partner. This can be difficult, especially if you are afraid of hurting their feelings or causing conflict. However, it’s important to remember that setting boundaries is an essential part of a healthy relationship.
When communicating your deal breakers, try to approach the conversation from a place of compassion and understanding. It’s important to remember that your partner may have deal breakers of their own, and that’s okay. The goal is to have an open and honest conversation about what each of you are and are not willing to tolerate in a relationship.
In some cases, you may find that your deal breakers are incompatible with your partner’s. This can be difficult to accept, but it’s important to remember that it’s better to end a relationship that is not a good fit than to stay in one that is unhealthy.
Knowing your non-negotiables helps you set boundaries, avoid settling for someone who is not right for you, and communicate your needs and values to your partner. While it can be challenging to identify and communicate your deal breakers, it’s an important step towards building a relationship that is fulfilling and satisfying for both partners. Remember that everyone’s deal breakers are different, and it’s up to you to determine what is and is not acceptable in your relationships.
If you would like more help with identifying your deal breakers, I have a few spots open for 1:1 consulting. For more info, check out the consulting tab up in the main menu bar and from there, you can fill out the application to get started working with me privately.
Until next time,
Ash Pariseau
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