How to Respect Men Without Being A Simp (Evie Magazine)

Did you think only men can be simps? Think again!

We all know that respect is the foundation on which we build solid relationships. Especially if you’re in an intimate relationship, it can be assumed you respect your partner as a human being, but what happens when efforts to show respect go to extremes and fall into simp territory?

Can Women Be Simps? Absolutely.

A female simp is a woman who puts herself in a submissive position under men in hopes of winning them over without the man bringing anything to the table. She’ll do anything for male approval, including throwing other women under the bus or accepting bad behavior from men. She has little to no respect for herself, nor does she accurately discern when a relationship isn’t serving her or when it’s time to walk away. As you may have guessed, this concept goes hand in hand with Nice Girl Syndrome. Many women eventually find out how easy it can be to blur the lines between showing respect to a man and being a simp. How can you tell the difference? There are a few core principles to consider.

Respect Is Earned, Not Given

First and foremost, it needs to be thoroughly understood that respect for a man is only earned. It’s not demanded unjustly, nor is it given away freely. You mustn’t give your respect (beyond the common respect we give to all humans) to anyone who doesn’t make the effort to deserve it, and always remember that it’s you who gets to decide who is worthy of it.

[Read full article at Evie Magazine.]


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Until next time,

Ash Pariseau


  1. Nobody respects a doormat, of any gender.

    I was raised to believe the most important thing you have is your self-respect. Lose that and you’re pretty much screwed. When my ex-girlfriend went after mine, I kicked her to the curb, almost literally. She made me that angry.

    I don’t take that from anyone.

  2. One of the most common complaint I hear from single men though is that women ‘simp’ for the lowest-quality males but are adversarial towards men who actually respect them. Do you believe that there’s any general truth in that?

    • A general truth?

      I think that it’s too complex a subject to make that statement but it definitely happens.

      There was a book in the 80s, “Smart Women/Foolish Choices: Finding the Right Men Avoiding the Wrong Ones,” by Cowan and Kinder that touched on this. It’s still fairly popular today.

      About 10 years ago, I drifted into an emotional affair with a woman I met on a website that she ran. She was Narc bait. I don’t think she ever met a Narc that she didn’t try to rehabilitate. Her Instagram or Twitter profile says she’s a recovering codependent of a Narc father and Borderline mother. She has a PsyD and, yet, appeared to have lousy taste in men. If she ever had been in a good relationship, she didn’t mention it. Only the bad ones. Everybody has a blind spot.

      As she opened up to me, I came to think that she had never been with someone who could stand up to her. I don’t know if she could handle not being in control. I asked her directly if she’d ever been with a man who wasn’t afraid of her. She didn’t respond to that.

      At what point to you develop a sufficient sense of self-awareness and self-identity to see these trends and deal with them? I think for most people it takes years and some people never do.

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