When you come into a long term relationship, you’ll have a tendency to include your significant other in conversations you have with your family, friends, coworkers, etc.
These people who take a personal interest in your life will naturally ask you about your relationship. They’ll ask you about who he is, what his personality is like, where he works, how you are as a couple, and other things.
At first, it usually starts off as innocent general interest as they just want to get to know more about your life. But if you’re not careful, it can easily take a turn into some people getting a little too interested.
The truth is that we women often bond over sharing secrets and details about our love life. We share a lot – the good, the bad, the ugly, the shameful, the hilarious, etc. We talk about our men and his habits. We love to call our girlfriends or our moms up and brag about him when he’s being sweet, and we bitch about him when he’s not being so sweet. We even share what things are like in the bedroom. We feel that it’s a nice way to relate and connect with those we care about.
What women don’t often think about in the moment is that the more you voluntarily share these details with others, you are opening yourself up for judgement. And yes, they are judging. They might not always say it right away, but they will say it when they think the time is right.
Some people have a bad habit of becoming too emotionally invested in the relationships of others. Even though your love life has nothing to do with them, they feel like it does because of all of the stories you have told and all the times you went to them for advice. They’ll start playing the part of therapist and giving you unsolicited advice. Sometimes they’ll even demand to know what happened last night with whatshisname.
When there’s an argument or drama between you and your guy, they’ll choose a stance and and impose their opinion as if it’s their right to do so. Maybe they like him and they think you should change something about yourself to keep him. Or maybe they have decided they hate him and keep trying to convince you to dump him. The next thing you know, they are putting their two cents into everything that involves you and him. It could also be that their lives are boring and they just want to hear a juicy story as if your life is their reality show.
Whatever the situation may be, it’s best to be very careful about what you are sharing and with whom. Always stay in control of what they know about your relationships. They are only to know what you want them to know.
One thing I cannot stand are people who are nosy and don’t know how to mind their own damn business. I have met a couple people who just can’t be trusted to only offer advice when it is asked of them.
When my best friend is telling me about her relationship problems, I’ll listen to everything she has to say about the matter and then I’ll ask if she wants my opinion. I always ask first. She usually says yes, but if she said no, I’d keep my mouth shut.
Some people can’t help themselves, or they are rude and just don’t care. They think they have to bring their every thought to your attention.
In those cases, I might say something like, “Thank you for your concern, but I’ll take it from here.”
Choose wisely who you talk to about your love life and what details you are giving out. Avoid people who think they are entitled to meddle and dictate your life. You don’t have to kiss and tell everything. Many things are better being left private anyway.
– Ash Pariseau